Movies

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) | Review

17 February, 2015

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Release Date: February 13, 2015
Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson
Run Time: 124 min
Screenplay: Kelly Marcel
Staring: Dakota Johnson | Jamie Dornan | Jennifer Ehle | Luke Grimes | Rita Ora | Eloise Mumford | Marcia Gay Harden
Rating: R
Genre: Drama | Romance
Synopsis: Literature student Anastasia Steele’s life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey.

My Thoughts

94 million dollars!  The movie version of Fifty Shades of Grey made 94 million in it’s opening weekend.  I personally contributed $20 to that 94 million total!  Your welcome.  I want to say that I’m surprised at this opening, but really, I’m not surprised at all.  How can anyone be surprised when it was all anyone could talk about in the weeks prior to it opening.

So just how was the movie?  Well, like the book, it left a lot to be desired.  Like a lot!  I really tried to like it, but it just didn’t work.  Let me tell you why!

It wasn’t sexy!  And I’m not just saying that because I was sitting next to my mother while watching it @__@!  No, instead all of the ‘sexy’ scenes were just laughable.  I mean they really tried to portray a lot of sex and eroticism, but really, no one sweats in those sex scenes, no one has an orgasm, and no one looks like they are having any kind of fun at all.  For a movie that tried so hard to be sexy, it really missed the mark by a mile.  And really Dakota Johnson, if you are going to spend the majority of a movie naked, then please, for the love of god get a wax or something!  The 70’s bush is not cute at all!

Now, let’s talk about the casting.  What happened here?  Like really?  Who are these people?  Now I know Sam Taylor-Johnson, is responsible for helming the original Twilight movie and introducing the world to the likes of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and so on, but really, if you were hoping that lighting would strike twice, yeah, it’s not happening.  Jamie Dornan comes across as more of a budding serial killer than a sexy billionaire.  Dakota Johnson…I CANT EVEN.  Like if you thought K. Stew was bad in Twilight, well this was just so much worse.  Rita Ora as Mia was just like her music, not worth the film recorded on and blissfully over in 3.5 seconds.

Was there anything redeeming about the movie?  It was visually stunning.  Seriously, every scene was staged very well and looked amazing.  Too bad the acting, story, and even soundtrack couldn’t match up to the scenery!  And if I never hear the term ‘laters baby’ again, it will be too soon.

Honestly the only thing that would have made the movie version of Fifty Shades of Grey better is to replace the entire cast with Charlie Hunnam.  Charlie Hunnam makes everything better!

Release Date: February 13, 2015 Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson Run Time: 124 min Screenplay: Kelly Marcel Staring: Dakota Johnson | Jamie Dornan | Jennifer Ehle | Luke Grimes | Rita Ora | Eloise Mumford | Marcia Gay Harden Rating: R Genre: Drama | Romance Synopsis: Literature student Anastasia Steele's life changes forever…

The Lowdwon

Acting
Directing
Editing
Plot
Score/Soundtrack
Writing

Stars

The Bottom Line: Fifty Shades of Grey is 2 hours of your life that you will never get back. Save your money, wait for it to come out on video so you can laugh in the privacy of your own home!

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  • http://justj.ca/ MizzJ

    A horrible movie from horrible book I guess lol You actually see her bush in the film?! I thought it was only rated R.

    • http://www.nicoleabouttown.com Nicole About Town

      It really was! My mom enjoyed it, but her taste is questionable, lol!

      It’s not a full on shot, but you do see it. Or maybe I’m more eagle-eyed than normal!